Boxing with the bees

Steve Kendall | Bendigo Weekly | 02-Nov-2017

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Our tech/IT man has just come back from his honeymoon, and he’s sporting a huge swelling.

Custard, as we charmingly call him, has been out of the office for two weeks, he’s been to Queensland and had a grand old time with his new wife, but it was in sunny Bendigo where he came to grief.

The story goes Custard was out on the ride-on mower when he saw a bee, which decided to sting him on the face.

Hence the swelling.

It seems the honeymoon birds and bees had done their stuff.

Local experts suggest it was a European wasp, but that would have mucked up the birds and the bees link.

Anyway, Custard has drawn a bit of attention with his face swelling, it looks like he’s done a few rounds with Danny Green in the ring.

He always has looked like a boxer, just now more so.

The strange thing about human nature came to the fore on Monday at work.

Most people’s first reaction was to laugh. I hasten to add, I was not among them, as it looked pretty unpleasant.

Tech/IT is a pretty important role in a company and it’s one of those jobs you notice when the person is away.

Computers are necessary in the production of newspapers, and if they stop working Custard is called into action with the expectation of fixing everything within seconds.

When we need him on any tech matter we can just buzz him (ha ha) and there he is.

Now I guess you’re wondering why he’s called Custard.

It’s a situation he has since remedied with some solid working out, but a couple of years ago when the Weekly moved offices, we had to move all of the techy bits ourselves just to be safe.

It had to be done with timing and precision, so we enlisted our part-time salesman Mal to lend a hand. 

The three of us were in the middle of moving a frame when it all became a bit too heavy for Custard. He just let the frame go and all of the considerable weight shifted to Mal and me.

Mal was on the ball, but I took a twist and yelped.

At this point Mal christened him custard arms, and the name has stuck.

It was one of Mal’s notable moments, actually thinking of something first, so it deserves recognition.

So if you see a curly-haired tech type looking tired out after a honeymoon and bruised like a boxer, that’s our Custard.

- Steve Kendall

Twitter@stevekendall1

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