Dear Dotty

Bendigo Weekly | Bendigo Weekly | 25-Jul-2014

«
»
Dear Dotty,
I cannot find my glasses, last week it was my teeth, the week before that it was my hearing aids. and before that my leg. I’m getting very distressed.
                    Valmai

Dear Valmai,
I reckon the leg that will be the key thing. Find that first and have a look inside it. If there is nothing there at least you’ll be able to get around. So after you find your leg, go for the teeth, glasses, and then your hearing aids in that order, good luck.

Dear Dottty,
My teenager daughter is asking for more money every day. Clothes, partying, taxis, it all adds up.
Kevin

Dear Kevin,
Deduct her allowance. Buy soy wheatbix and non-fat ice cream. Buy DVDs on sale such as complete Jane Fonda box set. Buy daughter’s clothes from Reject shop and underwear from op shop. Buy frozen, home-brand chicken nuggets and sausage rolls and make daughter eat them. Cut off power during the day, tell her to rug up. Hide the mobile phone and find her a part time job as a chicken catcher. I think she’ll end up leaving home anyway.  

Dear Dotty,
I was outraged when I went to the opening of the Undressed exhibition at the Bendigo Art Gallery. There were several half naked women wandering around in their underwear, I tried to cover them up but they said they were being paid to wander around in their undies, what is the world coming to?
                    Gerald

Dear Gerald,
I suggest you sneak in every day of the exhibition to see if the girls come back. You could talk to them about the benefit of wearing a spencer. Now I didn’t see any spencers at the exhibition. If you don’t have any luck maybe take in a couple of radiators. Get permission from the staff first of course. If radiators aren’t allowed then maybe you can bring in a hair dryer and follow them around to keep them warm.  

Twitter@DearDotty

Comment





Captcha Image