Quirks and quips

Eddie Barkla | Bendigo Weekly | 02-Mar-2012

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THE  Bendigo and District Cycling Club will hold a reunion on March 13.
Like most Aussie gatherings there is a language known only to the members, such as nicknames for events and training tracks such as “the goose neck”, “the turdie”, “the ball biter”, “the juvey” and “the scenic”.
At the most opportune time, sayings and quotes are given to riders to suit the situation.
Cycling being a “hard man” sport, the old saying “when the going gets tough the tough get going” applies, so the weaker riders cop a hiding in the repertoire of sayings.
“Couldn’t pull the skin off a rice pudding”, is on, as is: “couldn’t ride out of sight on a dark night”.
Along the same lines: “just like a boarding house cup of tea – big and weak”.
Or the rider on the day that had “glass in his shoes” couldn’t push hard on the pedals.
Let’s not forget the sit-on sprinter who works on the philosophy the only good turn is the one at the chequered flag.
The newcomers to cycling are often called a Hubbard as they have the greasy chain ring mark on the freshly shaven right calf.
Or the scared rider that fell off and had to have an operation to get the hands to let go of the handlebars.
There are the occasional riders described by the phrase “erection riders” for their upright stiffness on the bike.
Stories of out on the road include: “when the hammer was dropped the wind was so strong the last bloke was so far down the edge of the road he was ducking the cow’s heads hanging over the fence”.
There is also: “riders were hanging on so hard they were chewing on the head stem, and another was sucking the grease out hoping for extra energy”.
We have all heard the term “they were on the rivet”, these riders may have been taught to ride a good time trial, you start off flat out and gradually increase.
Some hard riders are referred to as “like a rat up a drain pipe (they are hard on the wheel)”, always being on the “demorage” (the attack) leaving other riders “shookted (burnt off)”.  
A tall rider’s bike is referred to as “farm gates” due to the massive bar lengths in their frame.
Out on the road in the peleton the real work is being done in the engine room, and those just hanging on for grim death are in the “white wash” or “washing machine”.
The call to be “up the road”, “down the road” or “shut the road down” are all terms the hard men know and relate to when the pressure is on.
When a rider has had a bad run of falls they are “autumn leaves” and “eating their dinner off the mantelpiece” due to the amount of skin they have lost off their backside.
The “dabber” is the rider on brakes too often, a “softy” is a puncture and “chamois time” is for the café riders to gauge their performance.
This is only what can be printed and there are many more for the reunion day.
If you want to be a part of this day call Keith Browell on 0407 527 578 or email keithb42@bigpond.com
Cost is $20 to cover the cost of catering.
Looking forward to seeing you on the road soon, God willing.

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