Running out of steam

Steve Kendall | Bendigo Weekly | 06-Oct-2017

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It is often said that you do not miss something until it’s gone.

This certainly came true last weekend when the hot water ceased to flow.

We had a fault with the heating and after the plumber had been the heating was fine.

Trouble was, the hot water stopped working.

The first time I noticed this was mid-shower.

The sneaky system managed to run just enough to trick me into thinking all was well, and then cold. Cold water.

Some people swear by cold water showers, well not me.

I realised what had happened and turned off the water. 

I started yelling for the long-suffering Mrs Kendall, but I could hear her on the phone, so no luck there. But after a while I hoped she could fix the problem, so I yelled again.

I yelled a variety of names, all of them polite, but she left me languishing, wet and bedraggled.

It was then I remembered we had another shower in the shed.

It was there for while things were being built, and what’s more it’s on a different system.

Mrs K was still yakking, but I finally made enough noise and she came to my aid.

She could barely stop herself from laughing, in fact she laughed a lot, but then went off to get a dressing gown for me to make my journey to the shed to finish off the shower.

I don’t know why she thought seeing me cold and wet was funny, but she did.

Now the shower in the shed had not been used for a while, in fact I had almost forgotten it was there, but the spiders seemed happy with it, and quite a bit of dirt had accumulated, but I was far too cold to worry about such minor points.

I could hear Mrs K chuckling still, but still failed to see the joke.

Finally I was warm again and clean. A vast improvement.

The shed was cold so I half wrapped myself in the gown and towel, forced on some slippers and staggered back across the yard.

I must have looked a sight, because my feet were wet and the slippers did not slip on at all, so I was half walking half tripping.

I climbed the back steps without fixing the slippers and almost (note almost) took a tumble. It was a close thing, and I think I would have done some damage to myself and the steps.

Thankfully Mrs K did not see the stumble, so at least the laughing had calmed a bit.

It may be a first-world problem, but I really will be happy when the plumber manages to fix the hot water.

In the meantime I will work out how to turn off the heat next time Mrs K steps in.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

- Steve Kendall

Twitter@stevekendall1

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