Tinned tuna trauma

Steve Kendall | Bendigo Weekly | 01-Feb-2018


IF I could work out the technology on this one I’d run a poll to ask about a pressing matter.

Is it acceptable to eat a tin of tuna in an office?

Tuna is a marvellous food, unless you’re a tuna, it’s high in protein and full of goodies and comes in convenient tins of varying sizes. The 100 gram tins are just right for a tasty snack.

The trouble is they’re easy to open and some people find it OK to rip one open and eat at the desk.

Now I am not a food nazi, but tuna does not appeal to all, and the pungent odour wafting across the desk can cause problems to the neighbours.

Our resident tuna offender is Finn, a man who would have been a good 60s hippie if he had been born in the 50s.

He ambles in, strangely on time, and sets about his daily task.

He’s a grazer rather than a big meal man, and this is where the tins of tuna come into play.

More than once a day his colleagues hear the telltale ripping of a tuna can lid and the odour spreads like cat feeding time at the boarding kennels.

It got to a point where gentle hints were made, all to no avail.

Finn was oblivious to subtle, and so after a day or so heavier tactics were used.

Miss Turner in the office actually admitted the smell would make her ill, in a projectile kind of way, and finally the penny dropped.

Finn, with a hurt look in his eye, wheeled his chair across the room to inflict the smell on someone else.

The lucky recipient of the tuna was Old, Old Nick, our resident fisherman.

Gouty Nick is no stranger to the smell, having been a fisherman since the 1940s and he took it all in his stride, and savoured a taste of what was to come on his fishing trip at the weekend.

He was practically salivating.

Once the tiny tin was consumed, Finn wheeled back to his desk and continued with his work.

By now the discussion was at a pitch, Finn thinking there was nothing wrong with eating tuna, and a verbal majority, apart from Old, Old gouty Nick, saying that perhaps that was what the lunch room was for.

The problem is, hippy Finn is always having a chew on something. If he was banished to the lunch room at every snack we’d never see him.

So we’ll have to grin and bear it, or move Finn, his computer and his tuna to the lunch room. 

– Steve Kendall
twitter: stevekendall1


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